How Big is your gap?
This season in our lives, particularly in mine (Steve), has been a really refreshing and renewing time. I’ll tell the story one day of what that has looked like, however, this has been one of the verses that I have read over and over again and has really stuck in my soul.
That is so encouraging, isn’t it? By the grace of God and the grit that he gives us, I’m walking in his healing and I’m more passionate in life, focused in ministry, and excited about serving Christ more than ever.
I was sitting down with a pastor friend recently and we were both talking about the challenges of ministry, soul care, and the work that God has been doing in both of us. He said something to me that resonated deeply with me that he had been challenged by someone in a season of refreshing.
He said that he learned this. “There is a gap that exists in the lives of many Christians (especially leaders and pastors) between authenticity and vulnerability.” I said, “What? Help me understand what you mean.”
Let me paraphrase what he said as part of our conversation. He said, “There is a gap that exists between being authentic and being vulnerable. Being authentic is being real and honest about the truths of my life that I want you to know.”
Let me pause there. Authenticity is mission-critical in leadership and in our pursuit of Christ. People need to see what our genuineness is truly like as it is practically non-existent in our world today.
However, if we really think about authenticity, and according to my friend’s challenge, our realness only goes to a certain limit. Stay with me, O.K.
These are the parts of my life that I allow you to see or even want you to see. Which means what? We all have parts of our lives, no matter how real we are, that we don’t want others to see. We often don’t deceive, we just don’t go there. We just hold back. And that is where vulnerability comes in and helps us experience healing, growth, and maturity in Christ.
Back to our conversation. He said, “Authenticity is the truth about me that I want you to see. Vulnerability is sharing the truth about me that I don’t want you to see.” Marinate on that for a few minutes. That’s good isn’t it?
“Vulnerability is sharing the truths about me that I don’t want you to know. The truths that you could use against me or to hurt me. But it’s in that vulnerability that I can find the real care and healing that I need.”
Let me clarify a couple of things right away. Authenticity is something that I live and practice in front of everyone. It’s often my authenticity and how Christ is changing me that is so powerful of a witness to others.
Vulnerability, on the other hand, in my humble opinion, is not shared with the masses. Vulnerability is with a very, very small group of people who love me, who will challenge me, who have put in the time with me, and who will help me take the next steps and honor Christ in my life. Does that make sense?
The challenge for each of us is moving from authenticity to vulnerability.
AND…there is a gap that exists between the two. There is a gap in each of us between living authentically and walking in vulnerability. And it’s that gap that needs to be closed for us to truly mature, grow, and experience all that Christ has for us as his sons and daughters.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation and it has been so challenging for me personally. It took me back to a passage that I recently wrote down and I think applies in this context.
We all need deep-seated, Christ-oriented relationships (again, a small circle) in our lives who will speak both pleasant and challenging words for us. It’s in those Christ-centered relationships of vulnerability that we get the care and healing that goes to our soul and to our bones as the writer says.
Yet, for that to happen, we have to close the gap between being authentic and being vulnerable. So, here is the big question. How big is that gap in your life? Maybe you didn’t know that gap was there until it was painted in this way. Again, how big is that gap? Then, how are you going to close that gap? Who will help you close that gap? Who needs to be in that small circle where you can be vulnerable?
Yes, It’s hard but it’s where Christ refreshes us and heals us. Yes, it’s risky but it’s how the Holy Spirit works in us and shows us how to be like Jesus.
~Steve